You may be a seasoned activist. Or you may be someone who’s never joined a march but whose heart is torn open by stories of children being held in cages. Either way, you know how tempting it is to give in to overwhelm and despair in the face of injustice.
If you’re also a parent, finding time to protest or work for a better world in other ways may sometimes feel impossible.
When our youngest child was a toddler, signing email petitions was the closest thing I did to activism, even though I’d been a community organizer for a decade before he was born.
He’s in elementary school now. Over the past 3 years, the threats of racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and sexism have continued to grow in the United States.
And so for my spiritual survival, for my sense of being who I’m meant to be, I’m trying to find ways to move beyond guilt and overwhelm.
My contribution to movements for social justice are not the same contributions gave before I became a parent. But they are needed – and so are your contributions. That’s true whether you embrace the title of activist or you’d never call yourself that.
Here’s what I’m finding sustains me, so that I don’t sink into overwhelm and inaction as I juggle parenting, work, and my passion for justice.
1. Resist overwhelm by choosing a single area to focus your action
I’ve always been the kind of person who wishes she could do all the things.
Fortunately, I’ve never forgotten what my first community organizing mentor told me: it’s better to do a few things well than to do a lot of things poorly.
Especially now that I’m a parent, that lesson rings so true. My main contribution to the work of social justice right now is helping kids understand and stand up against racism.
But what if you don’t know what your area of focus should be? Here are some things to consider:
- Do you want to take action with your kids or own your own? If you want them to be involved, spend some time figuring out what stirs their hearts and imaginations. You could choose something from my Kid Activists 101 guide to do together. Download it from my free Resource Library by filling out the quick form below.
Related Post: 7 inspiring young activists for social justice
2. Find community instead of trying to do it on your own
Sometimes this is easier said than done, but it’s so important! Despair and overwhelm happen much more quickly when we don’t have others we can talk to and take action with.
My church, especially my Sunday School class which has lots of other parents concerned about social justice, has been my most important community.
Depending on where you live, you may even be lucky enough to find a group like Wee the People in Boston or My Reflection Matters in Connecticut, which engage families in activism and learning about social justice.
If you need to start with a virtual community, you could post a question in our Facebook community or join a virtual workshop about race and kids through Embrace Race.
Related Post: Trying to be the perfect activist was too painful after I became a mom
3. Ground yourself through a spiritual practice
As a minister myself and as a pastor’s kid, taking part in the Sunday worship each week is pretty ingrained in my life. But especially once I became a mom, my personal spiritual practices kind of went out the window.
In the past year, I’ve found that yoga and short periods of meditation (even 5 minutes) are also incredibly renewing. They help me clear out the garbage messages that push me toward overwhelm and despair. These practices remind me God’s love surrounds and guides me, and that I am enough.
Last month, during a spiritual retreat for activists led by Jardana Peacock, I was also reminded that singing has always been a vital spiritual practice for me. Some nights, simply lighting a candle and singing a hymn or protest song is my prayer.
Reading the news headlines especially makes me hungry for spiritual practices that nurture my imagination and remind me that the way the world is now is not how the world is meant to be. Scripture, poetry, and art help me move through overwhelm to a place of hope.
4. Clear the clutter
I don’t mean physical clutter (although sometimes that is an incredibly powerful thing to do!)
For me, digital clutter, such as subscribing to dozens of social justice email lists, actually makes me less likely take action. I’ve found that taking a few minutes to periodically unsubscribe from emails I hardly ever open makes me more likely to actually act on the remaining ones.
Facebook is a continual challenge for me. Scrolling through my feed is one of the things that’s most likely to lead me to overwhelm. But it also keeps me informed about local social justice issues and actions I want to know about. Paying attention to my feelings while I’m online usually tells me whether it’s time to log off.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found it’s also getting easier for me to let go of commitments that feel like clutter to me. My free time is so limited these days, and our kids’ needs take first place. But letting go of a few commitments that I mostly made out of guilt has allowed me a (small) amount of time for activism that uses my gifts and feeds my soul.
Related Post: 12 ways you can be an activist parent (even if you don’t want to march in the streets)
5. Consider whether you need to step up or step back
Only you can know whether it’s time for you to step up your commitment to justice, or to step back so that you can regain some balance in your life. I went through a period where I needed to step back when our youngest was a baby and toddler, and I felt some anxiety about that. A critical voice often told me that I was abandoning my calling.
A wise mentor asked me whether that voice was my internal voice or something else. When I spent some time in silence and reflection, I realized it was not my inner voice. It was what I imagined other people must be thinking of me.
I’m in a different stage of life now. I’ve realized that this is a time when I need to step up my commitment to justice. But it can’t be in ways that lead me to neglect my physical or spiritual health, or the needs of my family. Because that will only lead to burnout.
If you’re struggling with finding balance between parenting and activism, this article has helpful reflections.
6. Recognize that your life will not always be like it is right now
If you’re raising young children or you’re a caregiver for an aging parent, that will necessarily take up a huge amount of your time and focus.
Parenting a child to understand injustice and how they can work for a better world is a contribution to the movement, not a distraction from it.
When our youngest was a preschooler, I longed to do more in terms of activism, but most of the things I had done in the past didn’t fit with a stay at home mom’s schedule.
Now, just a few years later, he’s so much more independent. So many possibilities and opportunities are opening up for how I can contribute to social justice. And for that I’m grateful.
But I also don’t regret the years where I took a step back.
2 responses to “When injustice overwhelms you”
I have recently found a group that I hope is going to work out. I learned of a group of volunteers at a local jail who work with parents who are in jail but want to connect with their child through books. A parent will choose a book from a group of donated books. A volunteer (me and others) will videotape them reading. The recording and book are then sent to the child.
I still need to go to my jail orientation but hope on August 15th to get started.
That’s such important work Jane. I read recently about a similar organization (or maybe the very same one you’ll be volunteering for!) I’d love to hear more about it once you get started.