Rebekah Gienapp

When adults talk to White children about race, we tend to focus only on how race is experienced by People of the Global Majority. Of course, White kids can’t understand how race and racism work in our society without this information.

But it’s also crucial that caregivers and educators talk to White children about what it means to be White in a racist society. To help kids understand that, adults need to talk about White privilege.

Assuming that teaching White children about race only involves discussing People of the Global Majority is a common misconception.

In this post, I’m sharing how I introduced the concept of White privilege, along with other forms of privilege, to Godzilla* during our homeschool lessons. I also share ideas for having more informal conversations about identities, privilege, and power.

*Godzilla is the nickname I use for my tween son.

Disclosure: For your convenience, this post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. You can read my full disclosure policy here. 

Step 1 of learning about White privilege: Talking about personal and social identities

Over the years, Godzilla and I have had countless conversations about race. We’ve talked many times about how our family’s experiences as White people are different than the experiences of families of the Global Majority.

Until recently, I hadn’t actually used the phrase “White privilege” much. I wanted to change that, and also make sure he understood that there are other identities that affect how much power a person has in society.

So, we began by naming various personal identities, which I described as things that you feel like are important for people to know about you. He listed things like “gamer,” “Gojira fan” (Godzilla), and “Lego addict.” Other children might list certain personality traits, relationships they have, or skills they value.

With the help of Tiffany Jewell’s book The Antiracist Kid, we learned about the difference between personal identities and social identities.

Personal identities are chosen by you, while social identities are determined by the society, and sometimes, the families we’re part of.

Godzilla named some of his social identities for race, ethnicity, wealth, and neurodiversity.

An alternative activity for classroom/group settings that addresses a lot of the same concepts is inviting children to make “bio bags.”

For informal conversation, you can talk about the different social groups your family is part of. You child may or may not have thought about these. Naming them is a first step to helping children understand that social identities affect everyone’s everday lives, including theirs.

Step 2 of learning about White privilege: Talk about what the dominant culture is

On a different day, I asked Godzilla what he thought the word “dominant” meant. He was familiar with the word from gaming and sports settings. I added some of my thoughts to clarify that being dominant is about having power OVER other people, which is not a good thing.

When I asked him what the word “culture” made him think of, he had a bit more trouble putting it into words. But he knew that it related to things like holidays. I described culture as the many ways a group of people do things, like holidays they celebrate, dialects they speak, and beliefs your family or group shares.

Referring again to Tiffany Jewell’s book, I then shared what “dominant culture” is. This is what Jewell says: “Dominant means having power and being controlling. The dominant culture is one that is shared by the people who have the most power in a country.”

Godzilla really picked up on the idea that the dominant culture teaches folks that certain categories of people are “normal” (and that this is problematic.) He quickly grasped Jewell’s point that when your identities fit within what the dominant culture declares to be “normal,” you have a lot of power.

Related post: 15 children’s books that address White supremacy and White privilege

Step 3 of learning about White privilege: Talk about who has the most power in the dominant culture

Children tend to be binary thinkers, especially when they are elementary age. They may assume a group either has a ton of power, or none at all. Educators and caregivers can help kids expand their thinking about talking about the differing degrees of power people have in the dominant culture.

I wanted to make sure that Godzilla understand that while most of his social identities hold a lot of power, some of them do not. Most people have at least one or two social identities that have less power.

A simple, informal way to talk to kids about this is to ask them if they notice patterns about what kind of people are shown on TV or social media they scroll through. If kids are stumped, ask “do you see mostly White people? Are there lots of different kinds of families, or mostly families of a mom, dad, and two or three kids? Do they seem to have a lot of money? What kind of holidays do they celebrate?”

Related post: How to talk to kids about race: a resource guide for White parents

Step 4 of learning about White privilege: Create a privilege and power wheel

In our third lesson, I created a wheel of power and privilege, based on ones by Sylvia Duckworth and Project Nia. I also added in age as a category because this is an area middle age adults often ignore (because we have more power than children and the aged.) It would have also been helpful to add religion as a category, but I accidentally overlooked that.

While I added the categories themselves (race, skin tone, age, citizenship, gender, etc), I wanted Godzilla to use his critical thinking skills to figure out who had the most and least power within each category.

I cut out pie slices for each category, with three sections for him to fill out (groups with the most power, less power, and the least amount of power).

He worked on race first, and he immediately knew that White people have the most power. When I asked who he thought had the least, he said “probably Black people.” He wasn’t as sure who to put in the middle other than Asians, so I needed to remind him of the names of racial categories like Latinos and Native Americans.

Related post: Talking to kids about police violence and race (resource hub)

I’m gonna get on my soapbox for a minute. One of the misconceptions many White adults have is that talking about the reality of White privilge will make White children feel guilty or ashamed. Godzilla showed no sign of that during our activities, and he really seemed to enjoy using his observations about culture to build the wheel.

Some of the categories were more challenging for him, and he asked me to tell him what the answers should be. We also had quite the frustrating back and forth about the ability category. Godzilla wanted me to name specific disabilities that gave people the least power. Instead, I was trying to emphasize that it’s often not about the disability itself, but whether a person is provided the accomodations they need to live in their own home or hold a job, versus being forced to live in a nursing home.

Want an easy way to do these identity and privilege activities (and more) in your home, classroom, congregation, or community group? I’ve created a printable activity pack to use with youth ages 7 to 14.

If you like this idea of a privilege wheel, keep in mind that your wheel can be much simpler. (I’ve created three different versions in the identity and privilege activity pack so that you can choose the right one for your child.) Try out just a few categories your child can quickly grasp, such as race, gender, age, and ability, and consider adding more categories later.

Because there were 13 categories to fill out on our chart, we split this step up over two days of homeschooling.

Finally, I asked him to place beads on the wheel showing where each of his identities fit.

If offering an activity seems awkward, you can start by casually talking about one or two of your own identities and how much power they do or don’t give you.

Related post: How to avoid raising a White savior

Step 5 of learning about White privilege: Privileges everyone should have

In a recent email, antiracist educator Ali Michael wrote about getting pulled over for a traffic violation she committed and not getting a ticket. This prompted a conversation with her child about “privileges everyone should have, and privileges no one should have.”

Godzilla and I had a brief conversation about this idea after we finished building the privilege wheel. I’d like to come back to it again for a deeper dive. We’ll also be talking more about what it means to use your privilege and power to dismantle racism, and getting practical about how to do this.

Brainstorming a list of the two types of privileges would be a great group/classroom activity. Depending on how much children already understand, you might refer to the categories this way. Create one category for “ways everyone in a community should be able to expect to be treated,” and “things no one in a community should be able to do.”