As I write this, the United States has again been flooded by video of a Black person suffering racist police violence, this time in my home city of Memphis. Once again, many parents and educators are wondering how we can talk to children about this tragedy.
This resource hub is designed to give you the tools you need to have conversations with children not only about specific instances like the murder of Tyre Nichols. It’s also full of articles, videos, book recommendations, and more to help you talk with children about the systemic issues of racism in policing and the criminal justice system.
I encourage you to skim through the resource hub and choose a topic that best fits what you need right now to be able to talk to children about police violence and/or take public action.
Don’t let the large amount of resources overwhelm you. Narrow your focus so that you can take the next step in this work, and then take action with what you’ve learned. After you’ve had more conversation with kids, come back to the hub again to choose another topic.
Table of contents (click on a section to jump directly to it)
- Preparing to talk to kids about police violence: what have you already discussed about race?
- Tips and resources for talking to kids about race and police violence
- Understanding the roots of police violence, movements to defund the police, and abolition
This post may include affiliate links. If you purchase items through these links, I may earn a small commission at no additional charge to you. You can read my full disclosure policy here.
Preparing to talk to kids about police violence: what have you already discussed about race?
Often when tragedies about police bruality flood the news, parents who have had little to no conversation with their children about race want to know what to do.
If you have not had substantial conversation with your kids about race yet, this is where you should start. Hold off on discussing police violence until you’ve established more of a foundation of what race is. (Of course, if your children have already heard about a specific case of violence, you’ll want to address that.)
Diving right into systemic racism without having previously talked about topics like skin tone and race or joyful Black history can prime kids – especially white kids – to think that being Black is only about experiencing trauma. That is not a message we want to send kids.
You can start by familiarizing yourself with what research has shown us about how kids understand and experience race. Especially if you were raised to ignore race, this research will help clear up common myths.
I’ve created a blog post guide on the basics of how adults can talk to white kids about race and racism. Again, don’t let the breadth of resources and action suggestions overwhelm you. Choose one resource that fits where you are in your journey and try it out.
Download my guide “what’s wrong with saying we’re all equal? 5 conversations about race white kids need to have” to get specific examples. You can get it by filling out the form below for my free Resource Library.
Parents raising Black children will find a huge number of helpful resources on encouraging healthy racial development from the American Pscyhological Assocation’s RESilience website.
Children’s books to help you discuss race and identity
Hues of You: An Activity Book for Learning about the Skin You Are In by Lucretia Carter Berry.(Recommended for ages 6 – 10)
All the Colors We Are/The Story of How We Get Our Skin Color by Katie Kissinger. (Bilingual English/Spanish. Recommended for ages 3 – 7).
The Proudest Color by Sheila Modir and Jeffrey Kashou. (Recommended for ages 4 – 8).
Our Skin: A First Conversation about Race by Megan Madison, Jessica Ralli, and Isabel Roxas. (Recommended for ages 3 – 6).
The Antiracist Kid: A Book about Identity, Justice, and Activism by Tiffany Jewell. (Recommended for ages 8 – 12).
Joyful books about BIPOC experiences
When my younger son was a preschooler, I took a closer look at our family’s children’s book collection. I had a fair amount of books starring Black characters and other People of Color, but I realized that most of these books were about injustice and racism. I was giving my child a very skewed idea of BIPOC experiences!
Fast forward six years later, and we have a huge collection of books starring BIPOC characters having everyday experiences and fantastical adventures. You’ll find books I recommended in these posts:
15 picture books filled with Black joy
15 Indigenous children’s books for all ages that are set in the present day
Additional topics to consider before talking about police violence and systemic racism
Want to teach children about systemic racism? Four things you should do first.
As you begin to talk about racism, think about how the language you use could be accidentally implying that being Black is the problem in an unjust situation, not racism itself.
Are you prepared for when children make racially biased comments? This free guide can help you avoid the common pitfalls of staying silent or shaming children for their bias. Use the form below to access the guide in my Free Resource Library.
My book, Raising Antiracist Kids: An age-by-age guide for parents of white children will help you grow in discussing race and taking antiracist action with your children during each of their developmental stages.
Tips and resources for talking to kids about race and police violence
In this quick video, I share four steps parents can take when talking to kids about incidents of police brutality. While I use the case of Tyre Nichols as an example, this can of course be adapated to other cases as well.
Talking to my white 6 year old about racial injustice (how we talked about the book Something Happened In Our Town).
Children’s and young adult books that address race and police violence
Hands Up! by Breanna J. McDaniel. This book doesn’t directly discuss police brutality, but does show a young Black girl experiencing the power of putting her hands up in a variety of ways, including at a rally for justice. (Recommended for ages 3 – 7).
When We Say Black Lives Matter by Maxine Beneba Clarke. (Recommended for ages 5 – 9).
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: Something Happened In Our Town: A Child’s Story about Racial Injustice by Marianne Celano, Marietta Collins, and Ann Hazzard. This book directly discusses police shooting an unarmed Black man in an age-appropriate way that places the killing within the context of a history of racism and resistance to injustice. It’s written by three child psychologists and includes extensive notes for parents after the story. (Recommended for ages 6 – 10.)
A Place Inside Of Me: A Poem to Heal the Heart by Zetta Elliott. (Recommended for ages 6 – 10).
Not My Idea: A Book about Whiteness by Anastasia Higginbotham. Geared to white children. A white child wants to understand the news about police killing a Black man, but his parents try to shield him from the truth. While the book appears simple at first, it’s best suited to older elementary children. (Recommended for ages 8 – 12).
The Undefeated by Kwame Alexander. (Recommended for ages 8 – 12.)
A Good Kind of Trouble by Lisa Moore Ramée. (Recommended for ages 8 – 12.)
Say Her Name by Zetta Elliott. (Recommended for ages 13+)
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. (Recommended for ages 13+)
All American Boys by Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely (Recommended for ages 13+).
Additional resources to support conversations with kids about police violence
EmbraceRace guide on talking to children about the “whys” behind police violence.
EmbraceRace webinar: Supporting kids of color in the midst of racialized violence with child psychologist Dr. Allison Briscoe-Smith.
How to uplift resistance when we talk to children about racist history (using the Tulsa Race Massacre as an example)
Understanding how the cash bail system hurts children and families, especially families of color (with children’s book recommendations about incarceration)
Resources to help children and adults process strong feelings as you learn about police violence
How adults can support the mental health of Black children. Greater Good interview with pyschologist Dr. Riana Elyse Anderson about helping families cope with racial stress and trauma.
Tip tool for Black parents on managing your own racial stress and taking care of yourself from the American Pscyhological Assocation’s RESilience program.
Seven reminders for white parents talking to their kids about police killing Black people from Yes! magazine.
Art, music, dance, and poetry can be powerful tools for helping children (and adults!) process the strong emotions that come with learning about police bruality and racial trauma. Here are a few family friendly suggestions for music and poetry:
“Be a Pain“ by Alastair Moock
“If I Was President” by Las Cafeteras
Woke: A Young Poet’s Call to Justice by Mahogany L. Browne, Elizabeth Acevedo, and Olivia Gatwood. (Recommended for ages 8 – 12).
A Place Inside of Me: A Poem to Heal the Heart by Zetta Elliott. (Recommended for ages 6 – 10).
Understanding the roots of police violence, movements to defund the police, and police abolition
It’s important to introduce children to the idea that particular incidents of police brutality are part of a pattern of systemic racism. That requries adults to have a greater understanding of the history of policing and how it has intersected with race since its very beginning.
I am also sharing learning and action resources about movements to defund the police, as well as the movement to abolish the police. I understand that many of you reading this may be uncertain, or even opposed to these ideas. I was once in that place of uncertainty myself. If you find yourself defensive or upset by these ideas, I hope you will approach your reactions with curiosity.
I also share these resources in the hopes that you’ll learn directly from people working within these movements, rather than hearing from political pundits about what they think these movements are saying.
Resources for adult learning and action
One issue that is little discussed in the media is how high the rates of police killings of Native American are. The rates are actually slightly higher than those of police killing African Americans. This article from the Equal Justice Initiative offers background.
The actions of 5 Memphis police officers, four of whom are Black, in the murder of Tyre Nichols, have raised questions about whether diversifying police forces is an effective strategy to reduce police bruality. This article from the Marshall Project offers a nuanced perspective.
This article from the American Friends Service Committee offers six reasons why it’s time to defund the police, and offers a pledge people can take to think twice before calling the police.
The Instagram post below from So.Informed is a concise explanation of what defunding the police means, and how police abolitionists consider it one step in a longer term goal of dismantling policing.
Educators who are ready to move into abolitionist work within their schools and communities will find Lessons In Liberation: An Abolitionist Toolkit for Educators to be a helpful resource. It’s best used by folks who have at least a couple of fellow educators who are interested in doing this work together.
Resources for kids’ (and families) learning and action
Queenie’s Crew engages kids (around ages 6 to 10) in “learning about building communities of care without prisons or policing.” Families who sign up will receive a monthly illustrated activity sheet, as well as invitations to occasional Zoom events. I’ve used these with my younger son several time. For example, the February 2023 sheet introduces children’s to Ida B. Wells. Kids are asked to “investigate like Ida” to learn how much their own community spends on policing.
Families for Justice toolkit on police, prisons, and abolition: a guide for families conversing critically with kids. This Madison, WI based group has a range of background resources, including ones that encourage parents to examine how children’s media often glamorizes policing.
Article by Shannon Coffrin Gaggero for EmbraceRace on how she talks to her white children about police abolition.
Student Ignition Society Ending Police Bruality family action toolkit. This resource was created in the summer of 2020 with several other groups as part of a Family Summer for Black Lives. It includes an action bingo card, poetry, conversation tips, and more.
In Our Own Hands: Tools for Talking Abolition and Transformative Justice with Little Ones by Rania El Mugammar.
Share this toolkit with other parents and educators!
